Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
