Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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