just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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