I want to make a zoo with you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize