No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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