I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
