Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
