Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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