If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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