yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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