her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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