Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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