After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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