you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
