I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
