i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize