Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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