I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize