Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
