Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
