I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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