She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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