if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize