one two three fourrrrnication!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this just has baby written all over it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
