He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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