She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
