I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
