did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
