I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
