he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
