So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
