Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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