There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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