If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
