i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize