I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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