Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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