He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.