Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.