Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize