Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.