On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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