community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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