fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
