Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
