just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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