People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
