I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
