After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
