Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
