Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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