He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
