was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
