Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
