it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
