i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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