THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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