My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
