watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
