I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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