We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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