We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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