if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
