Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
