On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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