I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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