i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize