im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
