You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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