I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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