The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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